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Writer's pictureUdayan Salim Banerjee

Personal Effectiveness - Perceptions, Reality And 5 Ways To Take Feedback

Remember the 5 blind men who went into the forest and bumped into an elephant. When they shared their encounter with each other, they were unable to describe the elephant correctly. Why?


As they couldn’t see, they created their own perception about what they encountered (fan for ear, snake for tail, spear for teeth, etc.), which of course, was not the reality.


We can see,  yet how many times have we also been guilty of making such mistakes? About blindly creating PERCEPTIONS about ourselves which are not true, and which contradict REALITY.


What do I mean by PERCEPTION & REALITY.


Perception is what I think of myself. Reality is what the world thinks of me.


For me to thrive & grow, to connect successfully with the world and to develop strong and meaningful relationships, it is critical that my perception of myself & the reality of how the world sees me, always be aligned, and not contradict each other.


Example - I think I am a good leader. Says who? Is it only me or does my team think so too.


If it’s only me and my team disagrees, then we have a ‘perception issue.’ Because what I think of myself as a leader (my perception) is not aligned with what my team thinks of me as a leader (the reality). Such non alignment invariably causes incompatibility, conflicts and communication breakdowns, making interactions difficult and unpleasant.


However, if I think I am a good leader and so does my team, then both - my perception & the reality - are aligned, thanks to which we’ll gel well and sync well, ensuring deeper involvement, productive interactions, better results & higher satisfaction levels.


Moral of the story – Always Align your Perceptions with Reality.


How? - TAKE FEEDBACK


Feedback is a reality check to understand how the world sees you. Which in turn can motivate you to ‘continue’ (if it’s positive feedback) or then ‘change’ ( in case of negative feedback). Also, taking feedback enhances transparency and openness so essential for building strong connect.


Listing 5 Key Ways To Take Feedback:


1.    ASK for feedback. People hesitate to volunteer feedback (especially negative feedback) for fear of hurting feelings. Hence ask for it, and assertively.


2.    Ask for both positive & negative feedback. We either don’t ask for feedback or then encourage only positive feedback as it boosts the ego. But, negative feedback, although painful, is equally important since it creates the necessary awareness so essential for change.


3.    Mentally prepare yourself to accept negative feedback. Don't get defensive.


4.    Ask feedback from qualified stakeholders only. 


5.    Ask feedback only from people you trust. No trust - no listen – no point.


6.    Create an immediate action plan to implement the received feedback. No gain till you put the feedback to work.


Take feedback and open your eyes to how the world sees you.






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